When dating, or choosing a prospective partner, I always hear people talking about their ‘type’. What is a person’s ‘type’? It is the pre-programmed criteria of a person that we should choose as a potential partner i.e. young women going for someone like their father, young men going for someone like their mother.

Many people continue to make the incorrect choices of a type of partner, even when they consciously know that they are the wrong decisions, they sub-consciously chose this type that their brain tells them that they should be with.

When choosing a partner many calculations occur in the unconscious mind: attractiveness, financial earnings, social class characteristics (i.e. smoking). Without a open, trained mind your choice of partner is not really your choice, it is what has been pre-programmed into you. This belongs in Shouldland, as the unwritten rules or beliefs of others are determining the race, social class, wealth, weight, height and even gender of your potential partner.

As I have suggested previously the idea of the existence of ‘The One’ is a lie perpetrated by many citizens of Shouldland. The fact is everybody has thousands of people that they could end up with; thousands of ‘the ones’ if you like. You have thousands of people in your local area that you would find attractive and who would find you attractive, and thus are potential partners.

Unfortunately, we live in a superficial world. People chose partners based substantially on superficial factors such as looks and money. Many of your friends and family will disagree with this statement, typically saying “I married my husband for his personality” and “I married my wife for her caring nature”. Unlikely! They married their partner because they found the best possible person that they could get within the same superficial scoring range, at the time when they were ready to get married.

The television show ‘Dating In The Dark’ illustrates this point very well. In the show singles get to meet in absolute darkness, so that they cannot see the person that they are on a date with at all. They get to know each other without physical appearance being a factor in their attraction to another person. After a couple of dates they are revealed in the light to each other, with many of the guests instantly turned off someone that they had previously thought very highly off as a potential partner. 5 seconds of light destroys days of chemistry.

The scoring system for potential partners goes something like this. You get a score out of 10 for your superficial looks – face and body. Then 1 point can be added on for other superficial things like money and power. The 1 point is added on for serious money, like in the top 1% of the population. Someone in the top 1% of both money and power might get 2 points added to their score. Half points can be added or subtracted for things such as personality and intelligence, again though, they need to be in the top 1% to get the half point.

People will go for people with the same score as themselves. Fives will go for fives, Eights for Eights etc. We all might want to find someone with a higher score of course, but deep down we know our score and are unlikely to obtain anyone above it.

This is controversial. People react strongly to this, arguing that looks and money etc don’t count to them. The people that deny the loudest are often the ones most guilty of it, and deep down they know it, that’s why they react so strongly. They fervently resent anyone exposing their deep secret.

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One Response to Dating

  1. alwaystooslowly says:

    Hi. I found your blog by browsing for posts in the psychology section. There’s a ‘should’ lurking in your post.

    Why do you think personality and intelligence ‘should’ count for more points in that scenario than looks and financial power?

    I’d argue that, from a genetic point of view, a physically attractive and financially secure partner would make a better reproductive partner than one deemed ‘friendly’ or ‘nice’ or ‘intelligent’ by the people around him or her.

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