What is Shouldland?

Shouldland is all around us. It is a state of mind that controls most people’s existence. Shouldland is the place where people live their lives by all of the unwritten rules of society. A society that tells you what you should do.

That’s where the name ‘Shouldland’ comes from: it is the land where you do as you should. It is a metaphorical place that exists within our society. The vast majority of people on this earth are living in Shouldland.

From the time we are born we are taught the rules of life, how we should live. I emphasise the word ‘rules’ to highlight that many of these rules are false. They are the beliefs of generations of people passed on to their children. And like all beliefs, they are not real. Beliefs are just your mind making itself right.

Every group of relatives, friends and work colleagues within a society (I like to call them a ‘tribe’) have a very deep, very collective subconscious to keep the group even. They build social structures that work to resist any member trying to rise up far beyond the rest of the tribe, using rules to keep the most ambitious of them down.

From my observations, 95% of people are living the lives that they are programmed to lead. They follow their parents and society’s expectations of them. Examples of this can be seen in religious customs and norms that people continue to follow, even when the purpose or need for the custom have long since gone.

We see Shouldland in the traditional gender roles that couples take. I see many more men driving than women when it is just the couple in the car together. This is a very traditional set up, that both parties believe is the right way to do things. They both hold this irrational belief: that the man in the couple should always drive. They lie to themselves about their motivation for this arrangement, that he likes to drive and she likes to be the passenger. Their real motivation is to follow an irrational custom of our society. They believe that is the way things should be.

I’m sure that you can think of many more examples of traditional behaviour for tradition’s sake. None of these are what people actually want to do with their lives. It’s okay to live a regular, routine life if it’s really what you want, but you have to really search your heart to see if it’s genuinely your decision. Most likely though, the life that you lead has either originated from someone else’s decisions or come from what you have been programmed by others.

The upcoming posts will be about questioning the unwritten rules of society that puts obligations and expectations on us. My objective is for more people to wake up from their pre-programmed lives and become critical of this routine way of living life. Together we can re-write the rules!

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